i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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