I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
