Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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