Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i wish my penis had a tongue
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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