i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
