Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
