My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
