I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
