What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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