So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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