You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize