In America we eat man semen.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
