the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
