He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
MIDGETS
????
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize