remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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