He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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