I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
