Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
