Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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