I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
