Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
