I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
