How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
