I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
