I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
