..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
