I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize