oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize