we have officially lost it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
