i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
