So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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