I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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