oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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