I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
