Your dad touched me again.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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