So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
