Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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