Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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