I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
