you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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