i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
