She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
do nipples grow back?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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