Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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