If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
