After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
