So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
