I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
