i would punch a child for taco bell
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
