i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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