Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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