Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She even gives head with a lisp.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
