This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize