yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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