two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
