it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize