can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
