Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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