just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
