Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
