Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
