not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
