i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
